Soju. Perhaps "Sorry on journey unfortunate". Likely just a little beverage that someone stumbled upon after fucking YEARS of trial and error, because the ORIGINAL thing just didn't quite CUT it.

Either way. It's late. I tried to sleep, but couldn't, so at the hour of 12:40 or so, went to an old haunt her in Seosan. Jumped in a cab and went to "Seo Boo Sahng Gah". You say it like that and the taxi knows where to take you. Once there, found my last remaining friendly bartender a little into her cups. She's leaving too. She wants to come to America. She's worried. She'll do fine.

As for my own devices. Last talked to my sister Beth and she related that it is in all likelihood that this winter would take Jimmy Johnston. I am rolling with Brian on this in that winter doesn't know shit. With mom working at what she is, and dad bearing the brunt, winter best watch the fuck out.

Give me a slight breadth of more than a year.
You can not do this to me.
In one year.

Not.

I do believe I need a break from the peninsula that is Korea. I really do like it, and the grass is not greener any where else, but it's a culmination of little things that has driven me to the edge and being polite simply has not worked.

Today at three different times, people pressed issues after the typical, "No, thank you." was offered. I have come to my breaking point. My co teacher, let us call him, "Tim", has on many different occassions asked me to eat dog meat. On those different occassions I have told him that I do not want it, but by all means, if he is used to eating it, and he enjoys it, then he should not stop because I do not want it. At one point he went so far as to say that he would, "Wait until I was drunk and then get me to eat it under the guise of thinking it was something else." I told him when he said this that if this indeed happened, not only would I never speak with him again, but there would be some severe reprecussions. At this point he laughed and said he was kidding. I only wished he said that about chocolate.

Today was basically the last straw. I have been busier than a one armed really busy thing due to a Korean teacher quitting in the end/middle of the semester, and so they mixed my classes by level even more, meaning about one third of my students were not working on what the rest of them were (due to ability, not their drive or coolness), and so the lesson plans I had for the fucking year are basically worthless. "Oh hi," I said as I was bent over a barrel and relentlessly boned.
So then they have me also jumping through late shithoops for getting my visa (which the teacher at the middle school didn't have to do when she got he visa a few months back), and to pile it on, today, I was hit, along with Chrissie, the middle school teacher, with the "Would you like to eat dog." We both responded with the, "No, thank you. You go ahead." This was followed with "How about dog?", and "Try this." as they brought plates of it to the table, and "Try the Boshintang." and etc etc etc...I fucking get it.

I have said, "Thank you, no."
I have said, "No, thank you."
This is not a fucking Dr. Seuss book, but I do not want the Boshintang. I do not want it by your wang, I do not want it with a song. I do not want the dog meat Shin Hargyoon; no I don't with a tampoon.

I have lost my patience. I do NOT understand how many times I have to say, "No, thank you." before the people finally understand that I do not want to eat the fucking dog.

If they want to eat the dog, great. Eat the fucking dog. If you want to rub them all over your nipples, go for it. If you want to boil it, and give yourself and enema with the soup, be my guest. I simply do not want it. You can have my portion, thank you.

I grew up with them as pets. Maybe they did too. Maybe they can think of them as both food and pets. I can not. I did not think that far into the entire ethos of the dog/man relationship. I just know that I don't want to eat the dog, because I still see Sam, the Beagle, with his soft brown ears and rolling howl saying, "Hi, Jeff. Take me for a walk so I can howl while I poop, cause it's old and it hurts, but I know you love me."

It's all good. I would not go to India, and beg people to try burgers because cows are "delicious year 'round, and especially on the grill!" or whatever reasons I could come up with to have cows (and good lord they could be numerous). If they don't eat them, I won't press it.

Seriously...what the fuck. Which part of, "No, thank you." did you NOT understand? No more.

I was looking through some old stuff after cleaning my apartment and on my external drive I found a couple copies of things that bring back good memories. Many of them I can't open because they're evidently in Wordperfect...old computer used it...why I don't know. Anyway...this was one of my favorite poems I wrote and when I submitted it along with a few others I won the William D. Elliot Creative Writing Scholarship. Afterward, in talking to Will Weaver, he congratulated me, and said that my submitted work had been exceptional and the obvious choice. It made me feel pretty good.

The Getaway


We are off to Frank’s
because it’s a going away party
and what better place is there
to help you forget where you came from?

More whiskey than ice, so no doubles here
but a shadow at the end doubles his
and the problems are gone.
Or beginning.

We talk of flight
and history
while the humanity
under one of the few tables
is enlightened in sleep
and believes he’s flying with us

Experience is what you get when life doesn’t turn out like you planned. As adages go, this one seems to “hit the nail on the head.” We can plan all we want, but often, life gets in the way of that planning, so perhaps more than planning, it is better to learn to be resilient and to learn to adapt.
When I was younger, right out of the Army and in a University, there were things that I wanted to do. Some I accomplished right away and some of them got shelved to collect dust like older, less popular books. As time crept on, my “library card” dropped further back into my wallet, and some of those old books seemed like they would never be read.
Thankfully, a few years ago I was cleaning out that wallet and came face to face with that old card. It reminded me of some of those old books that I had yet to read. I am truly better off for both rediscovering that card and dusting off some of the old classics. And concerning experience, who would have ever thought that I would find one of the best books I have ever read in the Library of the World, under the section Korea: .09-10. It is truly amazing, and I am now trying to read everything I can by the author.

The other day at school some of my students asked me to film a commercial. I didn't know what they were talking about, because they called it a CF. We ended up doing it, and it was pretty fun because I got to practice a little Korean. It was taken from a TV ad that is on some stations here, though I haven't seen it for a while. So, I hope to post it here as Facebook wouldn't let me post it; here we go!

I have a few minutes here at school, so I figure I might as well get my thoughts out on virtual paper while they are still here.

Recently, two new friends took me to one of their favorite restaurants here in Seosan, and now it is truly one of my favorites. I don't off hand remember the name of the restaurant, but I definately remember the name of the food I ate. It's called, 벼다귀 해장국 (Byuh dah gooey hay-jahng goog) and it is amazing. It's basically just a foot long chunk of pig's spine, split into 3 four inch pieces, and then boiled in a spicy broth with onions and little veggy chunks. The meat literally fell off the bone, and then you dip that into a blessedly spicy mustard type sauce. It all just melts in your mouth. All told, the meal is 6,000 won, or about 5 bucks. I was absolutely stuffed when I left...didn't even eat any of the complementary ice cream or coffee they had by the door as you leave...wow.

Still kind of bummed about my favorite bartender leaving, but she will be on her own adventure in Australia. She's been there before, and she speaks pretty darn good English, so it may not be as much a shock for her as it was for me coming here, and that's good. Either way, I certainly will survive, but she was a pretty cool bird.

Just a short note about time frames; I am amazed at how fast all of this has gone so far. I am nearly done with my 7th month in Korea and even though there have been some odd isolated days, or days that I was bored out of my skull, it has really rocketed past. I can't really say I have been bored out of my skull, I guess, but certainly there's been the down days...not so much depressed, but not having the ability to do some things. It took nearly 2 months before I said the hell with it and just went into a restaurant on my own...or actually with a friend...because something as simple as ordering food amounted to a perceived traumatic experience.
It is just not so bad. If they don't want to serve you, they will just say closed. Not that I have had that happen often, but in Seoul, a friend of mine and I walked into a restaurant and they kept saying, "no English", and we couldn't determine if they meant they didn't know English, in which case we didn't give a shit, we just wanted Galbi, or if they didn't want to serve English speaking people. We tried a few times saying we didn't care, then just said the hell with it and went a few restaurants away and ate. They took our money and didn't bat an eye.

Last but not least, something I made note of on my Facebook page. It was the first day of the new school year for my students on a Tuesday not long ago. Korea begins their school year in March as opposed to September when we do. My Tuesday classes are *supposed to be the lowest level of my English students. Often times, I wonder how they got place there. Maybe they just are not good at taking the tests, maybe they just don't care about English Education, but either way, many of them surprise me and do very well. They did in the same classes last term, and they have done so already at the start of this year.

I was explaining to my students in class 1-C2 (I think), that in America, our school day typically runs like this: 8:15 or so, the bell rings, and students are supposed to be in class. They have class until lunch with short breaks in between to go to different rooms. They have lunch for maybe 45 minutes during that day, maybe only a half hour, maybe as much as an hour. After lunch they head back into the classroom(s) and then they work (in theory) until 3:05 or 3:15 or so, and then the bell rings and 95% of the kids scramble for the exits, their school day done. Some may stay for activities, such as football, baseball, golf, plays, musicals, etc, but in general, the students leave.

My students here in Korea didn't fully understand what I meant when I told them this. They all had a confused look on their faces. "Gone?" one student asked. "Over? School over?" another student asked while the others stared right through me. You could literally hear all of them thinking as the full concept sunk into their minds. One student stood stooped over, sat back down and tucked a leg underneath his body on the chair, so he sat much higher than before. He peered off into space and a slight smile crossed his lips. I could see him mouthing a word for just a few seconds and then he leaned over a little closer and looked at a good friend of his. Finally, he said the word, twice, as if as he said it, it became reality for them as well.

"Ooooh...Utopia."

I was thinking today about a couple of the people that I have met along this trip I am on. You meet some odd creatures out here, and we postulate that they are running to something or running from something. Even some of those that you think are included in that group have come to that conclusion, which makes you wonder if they look at you and are glancing behind and ahead.

One of the most eccentric I have met, and I have been told I am eccentric as well, is a guy named Jerry. It may be spelled with a G, as I saw his email and both letters were in it, and it dawned on me I didn't really know which was which, I just knew how it sounded.

I met Jerry one afternoon on a bus to Gongju. I was traveling to a conference at a Language Institute. The conference was to begin the next morning, and I figured that the bus that left the next morning would be lucky if it got there on time, so I figured a little adventure was in order, jumped on a bus the night before, and hoped to have enough rest so that the opening day was not too stressful.

Thankfully, the bus was damn near empty, and sitting all the way in the back was Jerry. As he saw me near the back, he asked if I was going to the conference, so I made my way back that direction, and after a little thought, sat in the same row as him, on the other side of the bus. The back of the bus is four seats wide, so we had room. He looked a little different, certainly the look of a traveler, but with cowboy boots and the cuffs of his jeans tucked in the top. As he spoke, he sounded Australian or New Zealand and it turned out to be the latter.

Not far down the road, he brought up some things, I don't remember what in particular now, but some odd things, as if in his mind he'd made some big leap in the conversation. We would eventually find it come back to center, but occassionally, it made me wonder just what was rolling through this guy's mind. We actually had a damned good conversation on the way to Gongju, and it took a while, because it was middle of winter, the roads positively sucked, and like the way I get to things, it wasn't exactly a straight line to our destination.

Off the bus, we decided to immediately find some accomodations. I had never stayed in a "Love Motel" as they are called in Korea. Small hotels (or at least often small), that used to provide one basic service. A room to rent while you fucked. They didn't give shit one who you were fucking, as long as they got paid. Usually, it was hookers, as they have little table tents advertising numbers to call, but I am certain, just as often it was a couple wanting to get their groove on. Lucky dogs. Regardless, as we headed into the motel district right by the bus station, i said, "How 'bout this one?" To which Jerry said, "Yea, that might be an okay one, maybe 40,000 won." We went in, he asked for 2 rooms (thank god), and it was only 30,000 won. We took the elevator to our floor, and it was plush. Even the hallways look like they were made of brushed oak. I was pleasantly surprised when I checked my room and my bathroom turned out to be larger than my whole apartment in Seosan. Other than the Hello Kitty bedspread or whatever the fuck it was, it was definately righteous.

After checking in, we went walking around Gonju, and ended up at a German themed place that turned out to be pretty great. Jerry insisted on buying everything which i thought was odd, but it was a portent of things to come.

The next day, we got up, met in the hall, walked to a Family Mart, got some breakfast, and headed to the conference. Once everyone else showed up and the conference was in full swing, I didn't see much of Jerry except for one evening when he, Tom Johnson, and I snuck out to get a couple beers and smuggle some back in for some of the girls, and even then, Jerry insisted on paying once again. Just like in Penthouse Forum, Jerry disappeared and I never saw him again.

Until late January. My friend Brian came to Korea to see me. This was excellent for me because it was like going home without going home. Having someone that knows me very well come here is fantastic. It gives me a chance to vacation a little, and at the same time, it gives someone I know well an idea of just what exactly I am doing over here...though I sometimes wonder myself.

Brian and I stayed at the Grand Hilton Seoul, (God bless you Brian), and after a couple days of running around in and catching nasty colds, we stopped in for some beer and Jagermeister, and ended up playing darts at a place called the 3 Alley Pub in Itaewon. Pretty excellent place if you ask me...friendly staff, inexpensive prices..and fun darts...and I'll be damned...Jerry.

As I finished taking a leak in between dart rounds, I was zipping up when a guy walked up to the urinal next to me and said something. The voice sounded familiar but I didn't recognize it at first...I looked to say something in response as I backed away, and wow..."Jerry?" "Ah, hell, yea man, good to see you!" he said bringing his hand up from the depths and then immediately followed with, "Ah gimme a minute, I just grabbed my cock." I told him we were out playing darts and to join us. I figured it was the perfect opportunity for Brian to meet some of the more quirky people I had run into.

While Jerry did prove to be just that, he also proved to be quite genuine, and even more, once again, free with his money, which is fantastic, but unsettling. We drank a couple beers, I was finally able to buy him one, and then we told him we were going back to the Hilton to have a good meal at the Buffet Resauarant. He asked if he could tag along as he was "Celebrating" something. I figured it was a free country, so out we went.

The cab ride proved to be somewhat challenging for both a couple bladders, and for our minds to grasp the fact that Jerry would pop into odd thoughts at the drop of a hat. How absolutely beautiful Michelle Obama was and what a lucky man the President was to have her, followed by some obscure date through history. He then began rambling about how he took random numbers he saw on the street, be it a sign or a license plate, and then tried to associate events in history with these numbers. Spewing number after number in rapid order, asking us, then answering his own question before we could say anything, we began to think he had crossed a wire somewhere along the way.

Then he said something about the 50,000 won bill he'd been looking at as he held it up to see the watermark for the last five minutes; the bill twisting and turning over and over in his fingers while he rambled dates, how beautiful the money was, and did you know they made money out of plastic in Australia.

"This bill is for whomever can tell me what happened in 1688?" Jerry said. ""The Glorious Revolution" Brian chimed in immediately. Brian was a history major in college and was perhaps concentrating on his stretching bladder for most of the questions, but he knew this one right off, and Jerry threw the bill back at him to much protest. Jerry insisted he keep it, and on top of it, he paid the 20,000 won cab fare.

We then got to the hotel, put on our best duds, and then went down and ate the best buffet in the world, or at least in the parts of the world we have been to. Even Brian, who has been to Vegas many times, said the buffet was right up there with the best he'd ever seen. The first night, they had chunks of lobster, shucked and chilled, salmon, the most succulent kimchi pork I have ever had, lamb chops, prime rib,...everything...it was amazing.

After dinner, we sached over tot he lounge and watched as a beautiful Korean woman sang covers of lounge songs, and her accompaniast, a piano player even sang some Elton John. They were fantastic, and she kept glancing at me and smiling...I was on cloud nine. We talked, and Jerry's sense of humor sprang to life and at times we laughed in our little corner of the world until we thought our sides would split. It was soon to come to an end, Jerry grabbing his backpack and hitting the road. He said he was done in Korea after 9 years or better, and a bunch in Japan as well. I hope where ever he is, Jerry is doing well. As quirky as he was and is, he certainly was some good shit, he was just one of those people you'd never know, unless you were forced into conversation. Sometimes, that happens, and it turns out for the worst, but he turned out to be a really nice and genuine person. I still laugh, over one of the last things he'd said.

"What do you call a pig with wings?" answering himself quickly like he did with most of his rhetorical-non-rhetorical questions. "Linda McCartney."

The new semester has begun. I have fewer classes to contend with, but I have some new teachers, a shitload of new students, and a new batch of stress. I am not so worried about school, actually, but it does raise the blood pressure a little bit. mostly because I always worry about how I am doing. Not only that, but even though I have gotten better about not procrastinating, my Korean co-horts have not. They are exceptionally great people, incredibly friendly, and I love them dearly, but wow...the system here can sometimes be disfunctional concerning time changes, spur of the moment things, and that kind of thing. The U.S. is a bit like that with some of the things they do, with all the testing they do in the spring, (just like here), but being that I have the language barrier as well, it can make things difficult. Oh well. Get used to it, grin, and bear it. I like the school, the kids, my main admin people in Cheonan, and the country of South Korea too much to make it a real detriment. I still contend that it was the best decision I ever made.

On another note, the laptop I brought with me from the states is a bare bones model that I initially used only for playing my music with my dj business. It is so painfully slow, has no video card to speak of, and is in general, a big piece of dell shit. I would so badly love to spring for a nice new gaming laptop. It would make wiling away the hours so much more fun. At the same time, I know if I do that, the odds of ever seeing the light of day again here in Korea will be very slim. but man o man would it be nice.

Rob and Chrissie put their mad skeelz to the test in their kitchen last night and made some amazing Thai Curry. It was over the top good. Afterwards, they had the gaul to go with me to the pc bong and hand me my ass in Starcraft. It was excellent, even though I played like one of Jerry's kids. It will just take some time to determine what to do first, and which race of characters can do what. We even played Sudden Attack and got pwned collectively by our anonymous Korean neighbors. Fun stuff though. It is so inexpensive that I will most assuredly spend some more time there. Can't wait until I can activate my WoW account and do a little killing with the boys and girls from Vigilant on Bloodscalp.

My school had a dinner this evening for two new teachers who have come to the school. There is a third that wasn't there or at least was not mentioned, because she will be taking over for Joe, one of the English teachers who is going to KNUE (Korea National University of Education - I think is the name. She is only scheduled to be here for the 6 months that he is gone, but it might have been nice to make mention of her. Oh well, perhaps they did and I just missed it.
The dinner was held at the same place we went to last fall. Ondal seating, (on the floor), a fair amount of Soju, and a great many Banchan (Korean side dishes). I had a new dish, or at least maybe if I have had it before, I didn't know what it was. It was Stingray. Felt kinda bad for the little guy, but it was pretty good. It was doused in a thick red sauce I was told was very spicy (it wasn't) and had two different veggies in the dish with it. It was a cucumber and something else. Either way, pretty good stuff. I focused on the Galbi and the Jjop jjae noodles and then hunted and pecked at the rest of it. It seems pretty rare when see something on a Korean table that I do not like.
It is often hard to fathom how so many restaurants can exist in one town, but I guess we are in a town of 160,000 people or so. I think that includes the surrounding area, but even so. There are simply so many restaurants, I think I could eat at a different one every day for two years and still not visit every one. There has to be 50 within a quarter mile of the bus station alone when you add in all the little tent restaurants that are line up along the back road. Many of them serve the same things which is why it seems odd that they can all co-exist, but I guess everyone has their favorites and people do seem to really love to go out to eat here. It's comparatively inexpensive versus the United States, especially for what you get. I am pretty much in food heaven.
Struggled with talking with the gym teacher and rowing coach tonight. He became very animated when he found out that I used to love to golf and had gotten down to as low as a 9 handicap. I am certain I would swing the club like one of Jerry's kids at this point, but I am excited to try again. I am in much better shape than I was two years ago so I think it would be a little easier to move the ball around the course. Now I need to have my golf shoes shipped over from the states. I would have my clubs sent as well, but I think that would be horribly expensive. Maybe I can bring them with me when I come back in August. We'll see.
I will go into more depth on the diversity and lack there of about all the restaurants later. Hope to add some photos of some of my favorites and definitely try out the steak place I found the other day. The sign said, "Steakuh, Winuh, Saladuh, Soupuh. 11,000 won". Wondering what that is like. Seems like I spoke with someone recently that said they had been there not long ago. Need to remember who it was...Sam maybe?

A few days ago in my teacher's room, where the majority of the teachers have their desks, they pulled a 'ya ya workshop'. It's a term my father always used when it came to a bunch of people running around looking busy, but pretty much getting nothing done. The powers that be had decided that with a new semester should come everyone switching desks. So, at 2 p.m., the ya ya workshop commenced with a lot of movement, but not a lot of results. I explained to my co-teacher Jude what was going on concerning a ya ya workshop, its definition and such, and she had a good chuckle. The next day, she asked me what the term was, because she had tried to explain it to her husband or a friend that evening and had forgotten the term.
Now today, as I am trying to learn Hangul and keep pestering her by asking about terms in my book, she showed me a new English book and it had three frame comics. On the outside were opposites, and the middle, I assume, was to be the mean. (As I later found out they were talking about "the Golden Mean" - whatever that is.) So the first frame was a fat guy like me with no caption, the middle was a healthy looking person working out, with the caption, "Fit", and then a gaunt looking person on the far right with the caption, "Under-weight". She asked if the first box should be labelled "Fat", and I said it could be, but what they were probably looking for was "Over-weight".
The next three frames: A person with bags under their eyes obviously working late with the caption "workaholic". The far right was a guy kicking back in his office chair with the caption "Lazy" and in the middle appeared a girl looking at a computer screen, typing with one hand, writing with the other and the phone stuck between her shoulder and her head with no label. Jude asked me what it should be. She asked, "Diligent?" I said, "Ohh, good word. But maybe ya ya workshop is better"

I have forgotten how to do everything on this. I suppose I should re-learn the lot of it...and actually do some writing...though I've done some....it's just been on Word and saved on my pute...hmmmmm